Realities

Sometimes I forget I have to align my realities,

And it's when I start to bring them together that things start getting messed up.

Oh to be two people, to live two lives.

To feel what I have,

To know the new that is emerging.

To have two things that ought never to meet

But a life like that can't last long

Tonight,

Suddenly I feel myself split

And find myself forced to make a choice

A choice between two things I should not have to surrender.

I can't feel real in the direction I am going,

Because I can not be whole in living like this.

Things have gotten a lot more difficult since you walked in to my life,

Suddenly I'm left with no one to confide in;

Losing, losing everything.

And in a moment of reflection I almost dare utter regret,

Until the moment you are here

And I remember precisely why I sacrificed

As if nothing mattered,

Nothing could touch me.

Independence Day

Last Thursday, we celebrated the DR Congo's independence.

Yesterday, I celebrated my own.

Saturday, we will celebrate South Sudan's very first independence day.

I truly believe the best way to remember those who fought to make us free

Is to work as hard as they did for the freedom of others.

"As He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free!"

What does it mean to be human?

I've lived my life so passionately in love with the human soul;

With art, with music, with literature, with connection.

Driven by the obsession with getting a glimpse into another human mind,

Of sharing and seeing the overlaps between us, in every venue of life.

Wanting to see the bigger picture,

Consumed with a fascination with the human condition.

Two years

Its been two years today that we lost you,

Miss you like crazy,

And I wish you were here with all of us.

To sing around your guitar

Or walk down to the beach again.

But I know things happen for a reason.

Though I don't know what that reason is.

I love you, Uncle Ron.

Self-Analysis

The more I think about things, the more I start to dissect and realize new things about myself.

I think my issue is that I'm obsessed, almost possessed, by the idea of having someone really know who I am.

I think it's been this way for a long time. Its some kind of nagging need in my head that overcomes and drives just about everything I do. Its the reason behind almost everything.

Where did that come from?

Heroes

There are few more wonderful feelings in this world than having a hero that you adore who actually adores you back.

I've found that most of my heroes are people who I will never really know--Mother Teresa, Ghandi, Dustin Kensrue, Deiter Utchdorf, John Prendergast.

But what a wonderful thing it is to have a hero, someone you look up to with all your heart, someone you see as so beyond yourself and so admirable, who actually really knows you personally and loves you, and sees in you the potential to be great, like the greatness you see in them.

It doesn't really get much better than that. Suddenly life becomes fulfilling and meaningful, and the future a little less terrifying.

(Sister Wheat and Faith Riley, this one is for you.)

Exposed

I'm starting to feel more okay with exposing myself,

Letting people see the parts of me I tend to hide.

And I think that's a good thing. =]

Peace

Last night I had a dream that you whispered

If you go back on what you've said you would do,

And what everyone else expects of you

People will ask questions.

They will give you a hard time.

But if you have truly had your answer,

And truly feel that wherever you are heading

Is right for you,

It won't matter.

If you know you are doing what you're meant to do,

And being what you're meant to be,

Nothing in this world can bring you down.

And the rest of them will come to understand that eventually.

Don't factor the opinions and judgements of others in while you are making a ground breaking decision in your life.

Make your decision for you, for your family if you have one, and for your God.

And if you are at peace with that,

Then everyone else will adapt to what you've chosen.

It may take some time,

But you will be all the better for it,

And you will never live with regret.

Service

I know I am here on this earth to serve. I've known it all my life and I know it just as well now.

And up until these past few weeks, I've thought I knew where, when, and in what way.

Now I'm trying to get myself to come down to the reality that maybe I was wrong.

Maybe God has a different way of serving in mind for me than what I thought.

Maybe there is something here I don't understand yet.

Maybe He sees something different for me than what I've set my sights on.

And if thats true, am I ready to accept that?

Am I ready to put my capacity for true selflessness to the test?

Knowing

I've spent the last 3 years of my life saying that I know things.

I know I'm going to do this.

I know I could never do that.

I know I won't change my mind.

Now here comes the humbling,

And suddenly I realize I don't know anything.

I guess its time for re-evaluation.

But as solemn as it sounds,

And as lost as I feel,

I'm in love.

And I gotta say,

It could be worse.

=]

Tornadoes.

Why are we such a selfish species? Why can't we take more from the Father who sent us here?

Why are we only willing to help if we can fit it into the comfort of our own lives? Why are we only willing to give what is comfortable? Why are we only willing to give as long as it doesn't mean we have to go without? Why is it better that they go without than that we do?

Why can't we let ourselves be vulnerable? What is this equality joke we say we fight for, when we don't show it in the way we live our lives? We put ourselves higher than the rest. Who will take our blinders off and make us see that each life is worth just as much as our own, and we should be devoting the same amount of effort into building and helping others as we use up every day in building and helping ourselves?

I don't understand how the rest of the world can keep turning and going about as usual while these things happen right before our eyes. How can people continue to care so much about American Idol and the "royal wedding"? How do we have the capacity for coldness in our hearts that we are able to just shrug this off?

And I have been as guilty of it as anyone.

Please keep the people of Alabama and the surrounding states in your prayers. This day has been a devastating one for them, in a way I will probably never fully understand. And these following days, weeks, and months are going to be incredibly difficult and painful ones.

A Thank You to Peter

"There are many people who can do great things in this world. But there are many people who will make excuses".

No more excuses. I'm going to do things in this world.

"The driving force in our lives is not money. It is love. That is what wakes us up each morning-the hope that today, you will be loved by someone.

If you have shown love to someone, you have made their life better."



Thank you Peter, for all you have said. Your story is inspiring, and the way you have overcome has given me new sight.

"As He Died to Make Men Holy, Let Us Live to Make Men Free"

I have often been caused to reflect on all I have been given; all that has been given to each of us. My mind has often gone through the internal battle of, "Why?" I wish to hold nothing in reserve, and share what I truly believe. We have been given so much because our God believed that we would use these things to better this world and to bring to our fellow men the rights of humanity. Let us stand strong, with all our energy, and fight for all things right in this world.

We are here to stand for something. As President Faust once said, "We belong to the greatest cause on earth. They who are with us are greater than those who are against us". We can and we will do great things. We will stand strong together and fight for what is right in this world, against all odds. And I truly believe we will win. But we must first take the step to question ourselves: Are you up for the challenge?


This is my call to all of you, as friends and as brothers and sisters in humanity: to stand taller than we have stood, to be be stronger than we have been, and to press forward with new conviction and confidence. Believe in your power to do great things. The capacity of our generation is greater than we can imagine. There are great problems in today's world. But greater still is the strength within us when we fight together for change.

Being

Do you ever feel like you're watching yourself from the outside? Like watching a friend go about their day, with no real attachment to "self"?

And then you realize what an unusual thing it is to be, and how odd a concept is being?